The problem with a woman president ...

     In 2001, members of Congress owed $2.53  million in back, personal income taxes. In 2014, 714 tax delinquents on Capitol Hill owed $8.6 million. I once owed taxes after a foreclosure. I had no peace from the IRS until it was repaid... My accounts were levied, my pay garnished, my future returns seized long past repayment. I owed a pittance compared to this amount. Interesting how the political elite operate under quite different rules. A 2013 bill to fire federal employees accountable for back taxes, of course, failed to be passed. Instead, those employees continue to be paid with federal funds while not supporting the system.
        But, these are the people that Americans keep voting into office to manage the nation's finances.... Explains some things about the current state of our government and economy, huh?
     And, it is an exceptional demonstration of the frustration by Americans regarding the disengagement and lack of personal accountability in its ruling body. Another deals with the length of time that Reps sit in office...
      On June 5, 2013, John D. Dingell, Jr of Michigan became the longest sitting member of Congress with 57 years, 5 months, and 26 days. 90% of House members and 91% of Senate members were reelected in 2012. In 2010, those numbers were 87% and 84%, respectively. And, these numbers are typical despite Congressional approval ratings falling as low as 10% according to Gallup polls, during the same terms. At age 86, Mr. Dingell first appeared on the House floor at age 6, when his father was elected to office. This gives rise to yet another aspect of the political machine.... Political families.
       Some, like the Kennedy family became quite near American royalty. The Bush family produced two presidents, and hopes for a third. In fact, in 2015, 20 members of Congress had parents who had also been in Congress. At least 5 more succeeded other family members, including siblings, uncles, and spouses. A 2013 piece by The Washington Post found 37 dynastic members. The same article noted that female legislators are nearly 3 times as likely to be dynastic as men.
      Earlier this year, Rasmussen polls showed that most Americans were far more concerned with reducing health care costs (59%) than mandating all citizens be insured (36%). In 2015, only 47% of Americans supported the ACA, more commonly called Obamacare, while members of Congress had quite stronger perspectives with 70% of Democratic members supporting and 72% of Republican members against. July 2014 Kaiser polls showed a high of American disfavor for ACA at 53%. Naturally, Congress exempted itself from ACA, promptly, so members never had a personal investment as to its success or failure.
      In 2014, Gallup polls showed that 60% of Americans believed that having a gun in their house made them safer. Another Gallup poll in 2015 showed more Americans having a favorable view of the NRA than not. The current presidential administration continued to promote gun control restrictions despite clear public dissent. Congressional members, naturally, are protected by armed Capital Police on the Hill and at official events. Senior leadership has 24 hour protection. Any concern also includes undercover municipal police protection. And, still many members elect to carry concealed.
        What's the point of all this rambling? I'm disgusted and frustrated with the disconnection of our sitting ruling bodies.... Some people get angry when I use the term "ruling," but I'd argue that it's the correct one.... Our "representatives" -- I'm using the term loosely -- are under no obligation to vote according to the conscience of their constituency (this is of course why we're a republic and not a democracy as the uneducated continue to call us).  And, they don't.
      I am no idealist, but I'm also dissatisfied with the perspective that working within the system will change it. In fact, my experience has been that such an endeavor is unlikely to work for many reasons... Not the least of which being that an agency's culture is persuasive and, in some cases, overwhelming. I believe this to be the case when considering the patriarchal, capitalist, power mongering culture of the federal legislature.
      Many wonderful articles have been written on the effects of patriarchy and misogyny, so I won't beat that drum, but I will point out that I believe the best measure of the entrenchment of patriarchy is by checking the behavior of its intended victims.... Women. When you have a society of women who compete, compare, and endeavor to put each other "in their place," you have an ugly, pervasively patriarchal society. Such a society will need to seek to heal it's women while simultaneously convincing those benefiting by the patriarchy that they are also victims (this is, of course, true, but a hard argument to make to those who believe they're having their cake and eating pie, as well; and, also a difficult argument for the obvious victims to swallow).
        Women must recognize that they've often abdicated their power in order to succeed in a more covert fashion which undermines said power; or in order to free themselves of personal responsibility. Successful women may resist this. I believe Mrs Clinton to be one of these women.... One who elected to use the tactics of  patriarchal men to move herself forward, which included compromising standards. I cannot support her bid for government given her indelible embroidery inside the political machine that I believe is failing us as a nation. I discard Mr. Sanders for the same reason.... A member of the legislature for nearly 30 years, I fail to see how and why he would suddenly wish to make changes, nor do I believe he can interfere with the aforementioned culture of the Hill.
         What's left of the choices? Absolutely nothing good. Nothing. Trump? No. Cruz? Absolutely not.
         What do I want in a candidate? Ideally: green party, but I'd settle for a libertarian with a brain. Truly, I want a constitutionalist..... Someone who will look at the labyrinth of conflicting law and enforcement bodies and begin simplifying by eliminating. If we've learned anything from the last fifty years, I hope that it's that we've created an untouchable, self perpetuating power elite which is completely divorced from the average citizen. My representative government doesn't represent me.
        Do I recognize how unrealistic my wants are? Naturally. I believe, instead, that we will see revolution and/or collapse in the course of my lifetime. I believe that this is likely necessary to destroy the ill effects of our entitlement and lack of personal accountability taken as a society. I also recognize that great hardship, violence, and misery is likely.

Obviously, the title didn't lead me where I thought it would, but I stand by it and will finish here.....
What's the problem with a woman president?
Nothing.
If she's the candidate that I believe represents my ideals. I haven't had one present themselves yet. But, I certainly wish they would.

Truth as subjective

There is no one truth. There is only my truth. This doesn't in any way invalidate my truth. Instead, it gives it perspective.

For instance, my belief is that the universe is made up of energy... Tiny units all vibrating at different frequencies which give each it's unique form and function. Physics professors probably agree with my truth, in this case. Another person may believe that all life is made up of biological substances which are impacted by their physical environment, begetting their physical forms. For that person, life may end at death. Because I believe energy cannot be created nor destroyed, death cannot possibly be the end of life.

Which of us is right? We both are. Because we each have our own truth. The existence of consciousness after death is not proven. I cannot force my point, nor can the other person. I could muddy this water a thousand more times with additional diverse beliefs, but why bother?

About now, some astute person is pointing out that I'm talking about belief not truth. I would challenge them to differentiate the two concepts as to make them clearly separate. Really. I'm interested in your thoughts. If you look up the definitions of the words, you'll find each word used in the definition of the other. **smile**

Here is the point of this exercise in mental masturbation (you did know there had to be a point, right?):
If I understand that my truth belongs to me, I don't feel compelled to disrespect or belittle anyone else's truth. I can give it the same space I give my own without the compulsion to disprove it in order to prove myself correct. And, none of that is dependent upon whether I personally believe in any or all (or none) of the tenets of someone else's truth.

Is the subjective world of persons diagnosed with autism or psychosis any less valid than my own because I cannot see through their eyes or they through mine? Of course not. Their world is just as real and valid to them as mine is to me. We just don't have the same experience in the same place. Our worlds are different.

The world outside of us, after all, is quite often a greater reflection of our personal inner worlds than any other factor.

Let that sink in a minute.

My Belly...A Love Song

I've spent years and years in a hateful, scornful relationship with my own body. This is not a revelation. It is just reality. The media barrage tells me, many times a day, that I'm not beautiful because I don't have a flat or concave set of washboard abs. It tells me that the lack of toned muscle around my middle means that I'm lazy, ugly, and -- truth be told, in light of my stretch marks -- deformed and hideous. Infomercials show me thin, ripped 50 year old women who've clearly been surgically (and otherwise) enhanced. They hold them up as the epitome of normalcy, making me the outcast.

I've had negative feelings about nearly every body part --
1. My eyes are not shaped the same, and one sits higher in the socket than the other, making me truly unphotogenic from every angle
2. There is cellulite on my thighs
3. My rear has become less perky and more of a long back
4. I have Fred Flintstone feet
5. My hands are gigantic and wide for a woman's -- paws, really
6. My breasts have run south faster than an Alabama felon
7. The backs of my upper arms wiggle and wave

I could go on and on and on, but no other body part received my disgust like my belly. It was never flat, even when I was quite thin. Its striped raggedly from one end to the other -- more closely resembling a sharp-clawed animal attack than a natural occurrence. I have hated it with a fury that caused me to hide it, cover it, strangle it in boning, and wrap it in spandex with a frenzy of determination to have an hourglass form.

As I've grown older, an understanding has been slowly, slowly creeping into my awareness. It began as a tiny whisper in the corner of my chest...the slight cringe whenever my husband rolled over at night, tucking in behind me and molding his body to mine, then slipping his hand around me, to rest on my not-flat stomach. And, his hand would just gently brush my belly, a gesture of love, and that tiny voice would be heard. That voice would grow when he would stand outside the bathroom door, watching me put on lotion or makeup, or drying my hair...a smile on his face. I could look in the mirror and smile at myself.

For, the voice didn't start from within...it was whispered to me from a dozen different sources...women friends who complimented me on how sexy I looked, admiring glances from strangers, the way my body feels in the strong wind with the trees dancing in jubilation.

And, still it grows....when I see the lovely celebration of the feminine power of transformation and nurture all around me -- my grandchildren laughing and spinning with no self-criticism, pure joy in their eyes. Flowers and bees and creatures of all kinds engaged in daily life with no regard to their own appearance. One rose does not compare itself to another...instead, it just blooms.

And, as I age, my body changes more -- softening and easing, adjusting to the pull of gravity -- that little voice has turned into a song. This is what it sings to me:

Love me, woman, for I have made you what you are.
You have felt the spill of blood, teaching you to release that which no longer serves you. 
Ecstasy has been in the clenching of your center, displaying pleasure and its possibilities. 
I have blessed you with co-creation, where you alone maturated and brought forth life from your womb.
That growth of tiny feet kicking to be free stretched your skin in the most amazing fashion, an artist painting a pattern all your own. 
And, again, this miracle occurred...with new feet and tiny hands, pushing, moving, sleeping, and playing before bursting into this world from its safety within you. 
You hold the cauldron, the source and origin of all life within your very body. 
Your blood flows like the waters of the sea, cleansing and renewing in turn. 
You can mark your days by the phases of the moon...so close to you She is. 
Love me, woman, for I have made you what you are. 
And, you are magick. 

And, the song is in my ears. It seeps into my soul. And, I know its truth.

For, I am woman. 

And, I am magical.  

Further more...

...I am unashamed. 

Deep Thoughts and Coffee

Deep thought over my coffee:
We live in such an unrealistic society. We expect to be happy, all the time; wealthy without hardship; educated without exertion; beautiful to an impossible standard; youthful forever; fearless in all things. We berate ourselves because we 'choose' to be sad; or don't 'deserve' good. How ridiculous! Life happens. Its imperfect, messy, frightening, and dreadful, sometimes. Fear is an adaptive reflex. Grief is healing. Pain is a lesson.

I want to embrace it all. (Please remind me when I forget.)

If no one has said it to you, today: 
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. YOU ARE SPECIAL. YOU ARE AMAZING.

Now, what are you going to DO with all that? Because, feelings don't define us, ACTIONS DO.

xoxo 

A Holiday Poem

What?! No tantrums, grumbling, thumping, and crying?
No eyes rolled, toys thrown, grandparents sighing?
What would we do, with gratitude brimming?
Shining, blinking, sparkling trimming.
Oh, no, we can't have such thankfulness glowing.
There are tempers flaring and showing!
Run, I say! Fun, you must!
Put aside your lusty lust!

The holy days have come up.
Fill your plate and top your cup!
Gather, make merry, give kisses and hugs,
Put away all of those apathetic shrugs.
Dream, play, laugh, build, warm, and have mirth!
We are celebrating the return of the sun and our birth.
For, we as a people, are joined by the Goddess as one --
Whether we be Christian, Pagan, Witch, daughter or son.

I put out my hand to bring your's toward the circle,
For we all walk the spiral-- whirling and dancing, eternal.
When we're injured we bleed ruby red pennies and dust.
There's so much about us alike, we can trust,
That each has the other's best interests at heart,
Whether green-eyed or brown, right at the start.
We don't need to bicker, barter, or fight,
It doesn't matter which one is right.

The holy of holies has come,
Can you not hear the beat of the drum?
It matters not which name we give to our One,
Nor titles or rituals, short, long, boring or fun.
What matters is respect, joy, kith, kinship, and kin.
You don't buy it, or make it, you find it within.
It lives in your heart, your spirit, and soul.
Its there for us, always, each -- one and ALL!

For, we are far more alike than we are a'part,
Let this season help us to make a new start!
Bring to it your best, your love, and your strength,
For we will all travel-- trudge long and at length.
But, at the end of our journeys we'll find,
Each other, one heart, one soul, and one mind.
Will you walk with me now, my sister and brother?
Come, let us chat, understand, and know one another.

I wish you many, many blessings, no matter your tradition, holiday, ritual, or religion! 
Michele

Point of Focus

Maybe I'm alone in this particular situation, but I'll put it out there and see.....

Most of my life is fabulous: I have amazingly wonderful grandchildren who I can't imagine loving more than I do. I have a job that is a dream -- it challenges me, entertains me, and allows me to interact with others. I have a partner of 26 years who has been so unbelievably steady in his loyalty to us that it shocks me. My brain is clear and quick. There are close, intimate friends who support me. I could go on and on, but you get the point...

I have one area of my life that is a thorough mess...an adult child with an addiction. Addiction is a cruel disease, one that steals what little humanity we possess. Addiction dehumanizes us to the point of constant pursuit of our basest desires....MORE, at ANY cost. We steal, lie, cheat, manipulate, etc. There are no depths to which we will not sink. Cliche, I know. But, true, nevertheless.

And, that one pinpoint area of my life eats up more of my energy, sucks the blood from my marrow, drains my literal soul. No, I'm not exaggerating. Those people whose lives have contained addiction, I imagine, will know the truth about it.

Its incredible to me when people say things like:
"You have to accept that you have no control over [them]." -- I DO accept it. It doesn't relieve my worry. I long ago learned that the only person I can control is me, and I sometimes struggle with that.

"You know what [addiction is] like." -- Yes. I do. How in the world would my intimate, personal knowledge of addiction IN ANY WAY help relieve me of concern for my child? Do people think before they speak, at all?

"Give it up to your [higher power]." -- Again, I recognize that there is a plan for everyone. I also recognize that we have free will. Our free will often doesn't take us on the travels intended by the plan. I don't know who your deity is, but I don't believe that mine intends for people to unduly suffer, debase themselves, and hurt others in pursuit of addiction. The synthesis of pharmaceutical grade drugs, by the way, was manufactured by HUMANS. No, I don't think that a higher power granted us that clever ability. No, I don't think that my Goddess intentionally punishes for (or with) diseases.

We can have a difference of opinion. Its my blog, so (of course) the opinion, here, will be mine.

I believe that my Goddess provides me with opportunities. If I'm aware and conscious and paying attention, I recognize those opportunities for what they are....paths to my intended destination. But, I can always choose NOT to see/take them. Then, my road becomes winding and difficult, in my experience.

I'm not fool, liar, or idiot. My selfdom isn't so large that I believe I have a direct line to the Divine. I don't fancy myself 'ascended master' or other ego-based lunacy. I do not believe that my Goddess speaks directly to me, nor that She pushes me in any one direction. When I call to Her for assistance, it is the Universal Energy that I seek to focus my personal intent. And, in response, I'm provided choices. Some good, some not.

But, I can return to the path, any time I choose. However, the further I get from the path, the more complicated it is to find my way back.

I teach psychology. I can quote, all day long, about why our brains are more impacted by trauma and negativity than by positive experience due to the flood of neurotransmitters released. (This is also why we're far more likely to remember nightmares that pleasant dreams.)

I read neurological research. I know all about the addictive process in the brain, what it does, what we know, and how it impacts learning, thought, and behavior.

No amount of knowledge helps to alleviate, nor shrink, that growing pinpoint area of discomfort. If you have a solution, I'm listening.

WHY do I have such a very hard time trying to prevent the singular problem area (yes, I have other 'problems' but they are of little or no consequence to me) from stealing all my attention?

Of course, the REAL question is: WHY ME? WHY THIS? WHY ANYONE? 

Addiction is a foul disease that I would venture (if we had the ability to look at true statistics) is as costly and damaging to society, and causes as many deaths as cancer. Yet, it gets nearly no attention, because our society still considers it a weakness of character or will.

WAKE UP! Please...

Happy Thanksgiving with Gratitude

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

I have a request. If you don't do it, nothing bad will happen. They are just suggestions, things that have worked beautifully for me in my own life. If you don't, my feelings won't be hurt, no tragedy will occur, you won't be cursed.

First, WATCH THIS:

Then, TRY THIS:

1. Do what is suggested in the video -- write a paragraph or two (or more) about someone who has inspired you. Then, call them and read it to them, or mail it to them, or post it as your status and tag them in it. If that person is gone, read it to someone who knew them or write a tribute to them and post it on Twitter. Be creative.

2. Please make yourself a gratitude list today. Write it down, somewhere big and clear. Then, put it somewhere where you will look at it every single day, several times a day.....like on a post-it note on your laptop screen, refrigerator door, or in your wallet. (I usually put the post-it on my cell phone screen so I have to look at it and move it every time my cell beeps.) PLEASE take it with you if you go shopping this weekend. 

3. Smile at every person you meet for the week. Say hello.

4. Look for the opportunity to help people with no benefit to you. Yes, I said that. If at all possible, the helping should be anonymous. Don't tell anyone. No one should know that you've done something nice for someone else but you. Donate some clothing to a Planet Aid box. Buy the coffee of the person behind you in line. Take some blankets to an area you know the homeless congregate. Send a gift card with a gift receipt to someone you know is struggling.

Whenever I do this, I'm smiling all day.

This morning, I woke up to find that my unruly dogs had eaten the entire loaf of homemade bread that I spent 3 hours making, last night. Am I disappointed? Yes. But, before that happened, I woke up in the arms of the same man that I've been with for 26 years, warm in a bed with blankets in a house with enough heat. After that, I made coffee that is hot & fragrant. I sipped that coffee while watching this video. I read dozens of Facebook posts from friends & family who are counting their blessings & wishing well to others.

My life is rich. Blessed be you all.