Integration

I spent years struggling to accept my own duality. Once I realized that all parts of me -- opposite and alike --are equally important and valid, I then had to accept that other people also had the capacity for extreme polarity. This was a bit more difficult. But, I muddled through it, just the same. Hadn't I lived that experience most of my life? My husband, who is one of the gentlest people I know, can also be one of the most fiery. His extremes have been part of my reality for more than a quarter of a century. Haven't I verbalized them dozens, or hundreds, of times? Of course, I have.

So, I fought my way to this place of understanding -- that all people have the capacity for great joy and great hatred, incredible kindness and incredible cruelty. We ALL have that within us. This is a truth that I can accept. 

Then, as wisdom does, 
                                                  it deepened...

                                                                                                                    ...and, it changed. 

In a moment of "A HA!" a little over a week ago, I began to understand this truth in a different way.....there is NO duality. I am WHOLE. Every aspect of me is but an ability, an inkling, an inspiration, a tiny spark of energy without the motivation of movement. What I bring into the world is a CHOICE, a force of will -- sometimes conscious, sometimes Divinely inspired, but always mine. 

I am wired as I am to learn what I must in this lifetime -- I believe that with absolute conviction. I do not believe this is my first time on this earth as a human, nor is it likely my last. (I certainly don't herald myself an ascended master, so to speak, nor fool myself into believing that I've learned all I must in this experience.)

Instead, I've finally reached a place where I recognize that I have become HOME to myself. No matter my physical state, geographic location, emotional sense, I am always HOME. For the very first time in my life, I feel as if I belong inside my skin. I FIT. Powerful words. Engaging perspective.

Blessed be.